Session One
Origin
Where did you come from? What made you who you are?
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."
Jeremiah 1:5 — and also: every person's story began before they remember it
Before You Begin
This first conversation is about roots. Not résumés. Not achievements. The places, people, and moments that quietly shaped the person sitting across from you — before they had words for it.
Come with curiosity, not agenda. The goal is not to solve or advise. It is to see. To ask the kind of questions that let someone feel, perhaps for the first time, that their story is worth telling carefully.
Come with curiosity, not agenda. The goal is not to solve or advise. It is to see. To ask the kind of questions that let someone feel, perhaps for the first time, that their story is worth telling carefully.
Questions for the Table
The Opening Question
Tell me something about where you grew up that most people who know you now would never guess.
Take your time. The best answers come after a pause.
Question 02
Who is someone from your early life who saw something in you before you saw it in yourself?
It might be a teacher, a grandparent, a coach — or someone unexpected entirely.
Question 03
What did you love doing as a child that you've mostly stopped doing now?
Question 04
What's a moment from your past where you felt most fully like yourself?
Don't reach for the impressive answer. Reach for the honest one.
Question 05
What is something your family believed — about work, success, worth — that you've had to question?
Your Reflection
Write what surfaces for you
To Do Together Before Next Time
Each person: bring one object, photo, or memory to the next session that represents where you came from.
Write one sentence: "The thing that most shaped me, that I rarely talk about, is..."
Notice this week: when do you feel most like yourself? When do you feel least?
Every person at your table has a story that began long before you met them. Honour it by listening more than you speak.
Session Two
Wounds
What broke you? What did you do with it?
"The wound is the place where the light enters you."
Rumi — and: "He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
Before You Begin
This conversation asks for trust. Move slowly. What someone shares here — about failure, loss, rejection, betrayal — is a gift. Receive it as such.
The purpose is not therapy. It is not to fix. It is to acknowledge that every person carries weight, and that being truly seen in our brokenness is one of the most humanising things one person can offer another.
Only go as deep as both people are ready to go. Some wounds take years to name. That is fine.
The purpose is not therapy. It is not to fix. It is to acknowledge that every person carries weight, and that being truly seen in our brokenness is one of the most humanising things one person can offer another.
Only go as deep as both people are ready to go. Some wounds take years to name. That is fine.
Questions for the Table
The Opening Question
What's something you failed at — or lost — that quietly changed the direction of your life?
Not the polished story of how you bounced back. The real one — what it felt like at the time.
Question 02
Is there something you were told about yourself — by a person, a system, an institution — that you believed for too long?
Question 03
What do you most fear people finding out about you?
You don't have to answer this one fully. But sitting with it honestly is the point.
Question 04
Who did you become in order to survive something hard — and does that version of you still serve you now?
Question 05
Is there something you've never said out loud that, if you did, might change how you carry yourself?
This one is an invitation, not a requirement. Offer it gently.
Your Reflection
Write what surfaces for you
To Do Together Before Next Time
Write one sentence: "The hardest thing I've carried, and what it taught me, is..."
Notice: where do you still feel the old wound pulling at you this week? At work, at home, in a conversation?
Optional: write a letter to a younger version of yourself — what would you tell them?
Wounds are not the end of a story. In the right hands, they become the very thing that equips us to help others carry theirs.
Session Three
Gift
What did you carry out of those places?
"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of grace in its various forms."
1 Peter 4:10 — and also: the thing you give away most freely is usually the thing you were most given
Before You Begin
This is where the conversation turns. From where you came from, through what broke you — to what you carry.
Gift here does not mean talent or skill, though it may include those. It means the particular thing that you bring into a room, a relationship, a moment — that is distinctly and irreplaceably you. The thing people ask you for without knowing why. The thing you do so naturally you forget it isn't obvious to everyone.
Many people — especially those who have been underestimated — cannot see their own gift. This conversation exists to help them.
Gift here does not mean talent or skill, though it may include those. It means the particular thing that you bring into a room, a relationship, a moment — that is distinctly and irreplaceably you. The thing people ask you for without knowing why. The thing you do so naturally you forget it isn't obvious to everyone.
Many people — especially those who have been underestimated — cannot see their own gift. This conversation exists to help them.
Questions for the Table
The Opening Question
What do people consistently come to you for — not because of your title or role, but because of who you are?
Listen for what they minimise. The gift is usually hiding just behind their hesitation.
Question 02
What kind of work makes you lose track of time — not because it's easy, but because it's deeply yours?
Question 03
What do you see in situations that others seem to miss?
This might be the clearest window into their actual gift.
Question 04
Looking back at your hardest experiences — what did they give you that you now offer to others?
Question 05
If you were completely honest — and had nothing to prove and nothing to lose — what do you think you were made for?
This is the question underneath all the others. Let it breathe.
Your Reflection
Write what surfaces for you
To Do Together Before Next Time
Ask three people who know you well: "What do you think I do better than almost anyone else?" Bring their answers to the table.
Write one sentence: "The thing I believe I was made to do or to give is..."
Notice: this week, when did you give something of yourself and feel, afterwards, that it was exactly right?
The greatest gift you can give someone is to help them see — clearly, specifically, undeniably — what they already carry.
Session Four
Sending
What is yours to do? Where are you being called?
"For we are his workmanship, created for good works, which he prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Ephesians 2:10 — and also: a life is not found. It is built, step by step, in the direction you are already being pulled.
Before You Begin
You have come a long way together. Origin. Wounds. Gift. This final conversation is not a conclusion — it is a beginning.
Sending is not about having a perfect plan. It is about naming — honestly, specifically, out loud — what you sense you are for. And then committing to take one step toward it, with another person as your witness.
The most powerful thing that happens at this table is not insight. It is accountability. You are not just helping someone see themselves — you are helping them be sent.
Sending is not about having a perfect plan. It is about naming — honestly, specifically, out loud — what you sense you are for. And then committing to take one step toward it, with another person as your witness.
The most powerful thing that happens at this table is not insight. It is accountability. You are not just helping someone see themselves — you are helping them be sent.
Questions for the Table
The Opening Question
If you could give the next ten years of your life to something that truly mattered — something that used everything you've been given — what would it be?
Don't edit for practicality. Not yet. Say the real thing first.
Question 02
Who needs what you carry? Who are the people that are waiting — without knowing it — for you to show up?
Question 03
What is the one thing you keep putting off that you know, deep down, is actually yours to do?
Question 04
What would you need to let go of — a belief, a comfort, a version of yourself — to step fully into what you're for?
Question 05
Looking at everything — your origin, your wounds, your gift — what sentence would you write now to finish this: "I think I was made to..."
Write it. Say it out loud. Let the other person hear it.
The Commissioning
Write your commissioning statement
The Final Act of the Table
Each person reads their commissioning statement aloud. The other person listens — fully, without comment — until the end.
Then: speak one specific thing you see in the other person that you want them to carry forward. Not a compliment. A witness statement.
Name one concrete step each of you will take in the next 30 days. Write them down. Give each other permission to ask about it.
If it feels right — and only if it does — close with a moment of silence, gratitude, or prayer. The table doesn't need words to end well.
"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."
Frederick Buechner
How to use The Table
Simple. Human. No expertise required.
1
Find one person. Someone you trust enough to be honest with. Invite them to four conversations.
2
Meet once a week or once a month — whatever rhythm you can keep. One session per meeting.
3
Ask the questions. Listen more than you speak. Don't rush to fill the silence.
4
Do the between-session work. Show up next time having actually done it.
This works between colleagues, friends, a mentor and mentee, a pastor and a parishioner, a manager and their team member — or two strangers who decide to be honest with each other.
No training needed. No credentials. Just the willingness to sit with another person and ask the questions most people are too busy to ask.